1. - The old adage "Read between the lines" actually dates back to the time of hand written manuscripts when bored monks, probably ripped to the tits on home-brewed wine, would scribble naughty limericks and saucy words between the lines of their immaculately transcribed religious meanderings. In the morning when the guilt, and thunderous hangover, set in they would further obscure their rebellious transgression amongst the foliage of, say, an illumination of the Christ child healing a poorly squirrel.
2. - The worlds largest beard belonged to one Arthur Queef from outer space. It was reported to be so vast that deep within the furls of his wiry face-pubes lay a veritable garden of eden replete with a topiary safari and working hairy fountain. As you wondered further towards Arthur's chin you would come across a children's adventure playground, six portcullises and a fully functional transport system made up of a fleet of whisker-crafted trams and tuk-tuks. Arthur planned to open his beard to the homeless, but due to an infestation of mongolian bong weasels Arthurs dreams where dashed and he committed suicide by holding a lighter up to his copious-countenance-quiff and instantly evaporated in a blinding, stinky, flash.
3. - Concentrated orange juice is really Count Dracula's pee-pee
4. - Following is a list of some of the more bizarre collective names for certain groups of animals (e.g. Lions = a pride of etc.)
- Porcupines = a complete bastard of
- Llamas = a mosh pit of
- Tuna = a fanny pack of
- Marmosets = a dark council of
- Jellyfish = a brisk fisting of
- Crabs = a crotch full of
- Dinosaurs = a crystal goblet of
5. - After being crushed to death by a bloodthirsty horde of frothing ewoks the last king of pangea, Kevin Wong, went on to live a full and happy life with his only complaint being sharp twinge in his left buttock when the weather was muggy.
Flump Vol.6 is well on its way to completion with the colours now being applied to brand new gAd wherein the furry blue ultra-bastard meets a charming bunch of street thugs. Lettering is now being applied to The Imperfect Prophet as I do battle with a final page of mightily complex inking for his latest instalment. A few shorts are also well under way and a new cover is also in the works as the last one proved to bring about bad luck in the form of a year long hiatus!
Much love and snuggly-wuggles
P.S. New FLUMP site coming in the near future!
Listening to: Lobster thoughts
Reading: Lift me up, johnny!
Watching: Slow Death at the Office
Playing: Chine Sculptures
Eating: Frazzled Magicians
Drinking: Musket Flashes